Are You Still Watching?

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28

There are few things more defeating than watching yourself fall into the same patterns over and over again.
You know what I mean.
That moment when you promised you’d go to bed early—because you need rest, because your soul is dry, because your alarm is rude—and then somehow it’s 1:13 a.m. and you’re four episodes deep into a show you don’t even like that much.
The screen darkens.
The silence is deafening.
And up pops that little passive-aggressive message from Netflix:
“Are you still watching?”
Oof.
You weren’t ready for that kind of judgment. Not from the platform that let you start this binge in the first place.
You stare at the screen, popcorn in your lap, sweatpants on, a vague sense of shame creeping in like, I had plans. I had goals. I had dreams…
Now it’s 11:47 p.m. and your Bible is still closed, your inbox is still full, and your self-control?
Gone.
Or that moment when you swore this time you’d walk away from the gossip, this time you’d control your appetite, this time you’d take that thought captive… but again, you didn’t.
Church, hear this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken beyond repair.
But you are in a battle.
And if you’re going to walk in wisdom, you’re going to need walls.
That’s what Solomon says in Proverbs 25:28—that without self-control, you’re like a city with no defenses.
You’re exposed. Vulnerable. Unprotected.
Every impulse can invade. Every temptation gets in. Every craving can rule you.
But Jesus didn’t die and rise again so we could live like spiritual cities with no walls.
He came to rebuild what sin broke down.

When Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, self-control is tucked there at the end. Easy to overlook. But don’t miss this: self-control is not something you muster—it’s something God grows.
It’s not the result of being Type A or highly motivated.
It’s the result of being Spirit-led.
And when the Spirit of God is at work in you, He doesn’t just save you—He shapes you.
He forms you to look more like Jesus.
And Jesus? He walked in perfect self-control.
He knew when to speak and when to be silent.
He knew when to rest and when to work.
He knew how to turn down the appetites that scream for attention—and turn up His appetite for the Father’s will.
Even in Gethsemane—when He sweat blood and begged for another way—He still chose the cross.
For you.

Let’s be real: self-control doesn’t feel glamorous.
It feels slow. Hidden. Weak.
But according to 2 Timothy 1:7, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
In God’s eyes, self-control is not weakness. It’s power.
It’s not legalism. It’s love.
It’s not about saying no to joy—it’s about saying no to what steals it.
And the road there? It’s long. It’s messy. It’s covered in grace.
If you’re struggling today—if you feel like you’ll never grow out of these habits, these reactions, these cravings—hear me:
You are not your failures.
You are not your impulses.
You are not the worst thing you did this week.
You are in Christ.
And He is in you.
And He is not done with you.

Proverbs 8:34 says, “Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors.”
You hear that?
Wisdom isn’t microwaved. It’s not mass-produced.
It grows in those who watch daily. Those who wait beside the door. Those who keep showing up.
Self-control isn’t about one big heroic moment.
It’s about a thousand tiny choices.
It’s waking up and asking the Spirit to help you put your phone down.
It’s choosing water when stress says eat.
It’s deleting the number you keep texting when you’re lonely.
It’s praying before you respond.
It’s walking away when the gossip starts.
It’s ending the scroll. Closing the tab. Getting up when you fall. Again.
And again.
And again.

If you’re wondering what to do with all this, start here:
1. Be honest with God.
Name the place where you feel weak. He already knows. And He’s not rolling His eyes. He’s waiting to help.
2. Ask the Spirit to work.
Self-control is fruit. Ask Him to grow it. Daily. Dependently. Desperately.
3. Invite someone in.
Don’t fight alone. Text a friend. Ask them to check in. Let them see the struggle so they can remind you of grace when you forget it.

You will not master self-control overnight.
That’s not how wisdom works.
But you can walk in it—today.
Not perfectly. But faithfully.
And when you fall, fall toward Jesus.
The One who never lost control, never gave in, and still chose to give Himself for you.
He is your Shepherd. Your fortress. Your wall. Your wisdom.
Let Him lead.
Keep walking.