Uh, Do Kids Come With a Manual?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I’m writing this devotional before Brian even preaches the sermon that goes with it.

That’s because by the time you’re reading this, I’ll be on vacation—on the Gulf Coast of Alabama, sand between my toes, likely trying (and failing) to disconnect from emails, and doing my best not to get sunburned. We’re headed down for a full-family trip with Jen’s crew to celebrate her sister’s wedding, which promises to be beautiful and full of memories.

One of the parts I’m most looking forward to, though, is spending time with our nephews—Mason and Owen. They’re full of energy and that kind of childlike wonder that makes you forget about deadlines and to-do lists.

And here’s the thing: I know how to be Uncle Josh. But if I’m honest? I have absolutely no clue how to be a parent.

As many of you know, Jen and I are on the adoption journey. We’re praying for the future—dreaming about the child God may bring into our lives. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel overwhelming. At 40 years old, the weight of parenting—of shepherding a soul, shaping a life, discipling a child—it feels sacred. And a little terrifying.

Thankfully, God’s Word doesn’t leave us guessing.

The book of Proverbs gives us wisdom that’s not trendy or tactical—but timeless. It doesn’t offer quick fixes or foolproof methods. But it does offer a vision: parenting rooted in grace and truth, anchored in the fear of the Lord, and aimed not just at behavior but at the heart.

And that’s what this devotional is all about. Whether you’ve been a parent for years, or like me, are just preparing for the possibility—God’s Word has something to say. Something steady. Something true.

It’s no surprise that parenting can feel like holy pressure. Whether you’re knee-deep in diapers or dropping your kid off at college, the task is the same: raise a child made in God’s image… but deeply affected by sin.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

This isn’t a magic formula. It’s a principle, not a promise. But it speaks to a truth we often overlook: children don’t drift toward wisdom. They need to be trained. That word—train—carries the idea of deliberate formation. It’s not passive. It’s not “figure it out as you go.” It’s intentional, relational, and theological.

And Proverbs 29 doesn’t hold back on the cost of neglect. “A child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (v.15). “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest” (v.17). The contrast is stark: training leads to peace, neglect leads to pain. If you leave a child to be “authentically themselves,” they won’t grow into wisdom—they’ll grow into folly. Because sin doesn’t need watering to grow. It grows just fine on its own.

But here’s the rub: correction feels… mean. Unloving. Harsh. Especially in a culture where autonomy is the highest value and parental authority is often viewed as repressive. But biblical discipline isn’t punishment—it’s love with a backbone.

Proverbs speaks of “the rod and reproof” (29:15)—yes, even that rod. But the point isn’t about spanking vs. not spanking. The point is this: love that refuses to correct isn’t love at all. God’s love doesn’t let us wander into ruin without warning. He disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6). Not to crush us, but to shape us.

That’s the model for us as parents, or future parents. Discipline without grace is abuse. But grace without discipline is neglect. Parenting, in the wisdom of Proverbs, is about both—reproof that leads to wisdom, and love that never walks away.

Here’s the gospel-shaped hope in all of this: you will mess up. You will raise your voice when you should’ve listened. You will cave when you should’ve corrected. You will feel like you’re failing. But the good news is: Jesus didn’t just die for rebellious children—He died for weary parents, too.

And not only that—He modeled sonship. He obeyed the Father perfectly, delighted in His will fully, and took our place completely. He became the Perfect Son so that you and I, and one day our kids, could become the Father’s beloved.

If parenting is about shaping hearts, Jesus is the one who makes heart transformation possible. The Spirit, not your strategies, will ultimately bring the growth. So take a deep breath. You’re not alone. You’re not abandoned. And you’re not without help.

Whether you’re raising toddlers or praying for future children like we are—start here:

Pray before you parent. Beg God for wisdom daily. You need it.
Pursue your child’s heart, not just their behavior. Rules without relationship breed rebellion.
Practice repentance. Apologize when you blow it. Let your kids see grace in motion.
Prioritize what matters most. You’re not raising scholars, athletes, or influencers. You’re raising disciples.
Partner with the Church. You’re not meant to do this alone. Surround yourself with a gospel community who will encourage and challenge you.

So no, I don’t have all the parenting answers. But I have a God who does. And His Word—especially Proverbs—reminds me that wise parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about pointing little hearts to a big Savior.

And maybe, one day, that Amazon package on my porch will be diapers or Legos… and not a book I forgot I ordered at 1am.

But even then—I’ll need the wisdom of God. And I’m thankful He’s already given it.